This is This

By Jaydn DeWald


This is overloaded to ensure a full house. This may only be used at participating venues. This will be permitted only if presented in saleable condition. This is redeemable towards admission tickets and concession purchases. This is against company policy, building code, environmental and social principles. This will not be held responsible. This cannot be redeemed for cash unless required by law. You may check the credibility of this at any participating venue. If you have any questions, please call the toll-free number listed on the back of this. If lost, stolen, damaged or destroyed, the value of this will not be honored or replaced without proper identification. This is a risk you are willing to take. You have been waiting a long time for this. You will not allow this to be surrendered upon demand. This represents your life’s work. Nay, your lifeblood. It pains me to have to do this. This is reserved for a large party—for home use only. I am going to have to ask you to leave. This is life. This constitutes acceptance of the following terms and conditions. This is good while supplies last. The unauthorized reproduction or distribution of this is illegal. Sit still. This may hurt. When power is restored, this will begin flashing.

 

Jaydn DeWald, an MFA candidate at Pacific University, currently lives with his wife in San Francisco, California, where he writes and plays in the DeWald/Taylor Jazz Quintet. His work has appeared or is forthcoming in Barn Owl Review, Columbia Poetry Review, Hunger Mountain, West Branch, Witness, and others.

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